I am faced with questions that make my mind hurt and cause my head to spin. Right now I feel as if everything I value is being attacked: Evangelical Christianity, my great nation, conservatism, morals, truth and more. So I, in a desperate desire to understand the critique of my values, am analyzing my beliefs. Am I wrong to believe the Bible is inerrant truth? Should I let go of my “old school” conservative views? The Post Modern thinkers would say I should give up my “excessive confidence” because, these thinkers claim, it has been a key problem in recent history. They also claim that many issues, from wars to poverty, can be blamed on it. I am told I should give this up for an understanding – that I could never really know the truth and this humbleness should bring me to a place of understanding or what some might call relativity.
This tension in the world right now has brought me to a challenging place. A place where I am looking back at history and wondering, “why are we just getting it now?”
As I am challenged I walk down this road of questions humbly because I want to know and understand the premise of my thoughts and beliefs. I wonder, where is God leading the church, me, and the world (understanding that God might not be the one leading the world)?
I am wrestling with God over where I should hold my ground. At what point should I take a stand? I am inspired to join this conversation and I am excited to understand it. I am also excited to take a stand, ever so humbly, because I must stand up and voice what I believe. I feel as if I am in the map room before a great voyage or at a king’s table before a war. If I am going to stake my whole life over something then I must explore every inch, chew up every thought. I realize that I will not conquer and understand everything, and that there is a great mystery to the faith, but I want to find and be able to explain the truth that I am living for. I think for this exploration to be as deep as possible I must be willing to let go — let go of everything and trust that God will keep me on his foundation in my heart.
I am off! This is me letting go. This is me looking for an answer to every question, not knowing where I will end up but trusting God will take me there. I will begin to ask questions and hopefully spark a conversation about everything down to the foundation of my beliefs. I start with the Bible. Is it true? Are these beautiful stories historically true? Or just spiritually?
This is the start of another part of life’s journey. I hope you will take part of the conversation, the questions.
